Review of AMERICAN IDOL

Ok Dudes, check it out. Perhaps due to the Red Wings once again early departure from the playoffs, this is the first year that I've seen more than a few shows of American Idol. For those of you who had something better to do, let me give you a brief recap of this season's goings on.

There are three celebrity judges who make insightful comments after each performance, using, reusing, and mega reusing phrases such as Randy's "Dude, you're the bomb", or "That was a little pitchy for me" . . . Paula's "This was your best performance yet", or "I'd love to take a closer look at that scare Ace!", and Simon's "That was a bad karaokee performance", or "That was a really bad karaokee performance." I was always quite dumbfounded as to why Randy and Paula get so upset at Simon when he rips on a performance that they loved, but I figured it out while doing yard work today. (You might say dog that I worked it out). Paula is reliving her star days through the contestants. It's like watching your kid play sports. They knock someone down (an accident) and a parent from the other team yells "Get that bum off the field!", and you want to throttle both the parent and the kid who tripped over his own two left feet. So when Simon berates Bucky, knowing that Bucky will probably be flipping burgers next year at this time, no matter how good he sings, Paula, who had a (motherly) crush on Ace, then on Bucky, and then on Elliot (but not on Taylor - grey hair), tries to hit Simon. this is a little embarrassing to watch, but less so than when Paula gets up to dance. Think of your mother shaking her booty on national TV.

I liked Taylor from the start, although I'll admit the first person I was rooting for was Mandissa, after hearing that she was a Christioan singer. Mandissa is 300 lbs (mostly in the aforementioned booty) with a teffific voice, but after performing a Christian song and Simon commenting "I just don't get it" ala Tom Hanks in Big, BOOM, she was gone. I thought that Kelly Pickler was cute as a button (I'm sorry) with an average voice. If she had Mandissa's voice she would have been the winner. As mentioned before, Ace, a hunk if there ever was one, had this really neat scar. I think he got it wrestling his twin brother for the controller while watching reruns of Happy Days. Speaking of which, on the last show a nerdy looking guy is singing and out comes a person with early Beatles style hair who I tink is Chachi, but something's wrong because Chachi should be 50 and this guy is young, and it turns out he is someone called Clay Aiken. The best performer is 16 year old Paris, who will probably have the best career. Chris has an awesome voice, great stage presence, but as a rocker was a little on the dark side. Elliot has what everybody says is a geat recording voice. To me he had the charisma of a lounge singer. One of my favorite quotes was after Elliot sang somethiing like Jack the Knife, Paula, in tears and shaking, says "You mooove me." Oh dear. My other favokrite quote was after Kat sang Over the Rainbow, Simon said someting like this. "Katheryn, . . . . . . ., I'm not saying this just because I picked out this song for you but . . . . . . . this is your signature moment. You will never again in your whole pathetic life come anywhere close to this moment again. Enjoy it."

The semifanals came down to Taylor with 33.34% of all votes cast, Kat with 33.33%, and Elliot with 33.32%, so Elliot was out. The final winner was a foregone conclusion because, although Kat comes from Los Angles, which is a very big city in a very big state, most of the population is Hispanic or Asian, and they don't watch American Idol. Taylor, from the South, which carried even Bucky farther that he ever dreamed, kinda sang/danced his way out of the ghetto and into out hearts.